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20120926
20120926
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are not favoring mitt romney. great, first the british, now he's in trouble with polish people. (laughter) then, outrage in the n.f.l. though after a few more concussions who will remember? (laughter) and my guest, claressa shields, is the first woman to win gold in olympic boxing. i will float like a butterfly and ask questions also like a butterfly. (laughter) i have gotten a iphone 5! (cheers and applause) and apple maps says i'm in norway! this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to "the report." (audience chanting "stephen"). (cheers and applause) thank you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to "the report." please, thank you for joining us. i lost the emmy. (laughter) speaking of losing, mitt romney. (laughter) he has had a run of bad luck lately and this past weekend was no different. on saturday, ann romney's plane had to make an emergency landing after an electrical fire broke out on board. now, i'm happy to hear that she is fine. no one's sure what happened, though ann swears she saw a gremlin o
for the romney campaign, get ready for the rafalka sex tape. (laughter) and a major legal victory for apple. but it will be replaced with a faster, slimmer legal victory in six months. (laughter) then, my guest, jeffrey toobin is here to talk about obama's relationship with the supreme court. i hear it's under the robe; over the gavel. (laughter) wal-mart is turning 50 years old. it's finally old enough to be a greeter at itself. (laughter) this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) . >> stephen: whoo! whoo! whoo! come on! (audience chanting "stephen") folks-- (audience chanting "stephen"). (cheers and applause) folks, folks, i've got to tell you, no matter-- sometimes i think the world is a dark cave, but you are always my light at the end of the tunnel. (laughter) welcome to th to the "report," everybody. thank you for joining us. nation, i have always hated change. that's why i'm solidly against transformers, shrinky-dinks and air caterpillars. (laughter) and don't tell me you've always felt like a butterfly trapped
primary i believed fervently in the exact opposite of what i told cbs' skoept" romney, which is also a terrible nickname. >> look, it doesn't make sense for us to have millions and millions of people have no health insurance and yet who can go to the emergency room and get entirely free care for which they have no responsibility. when they show up at the hospital, they get care, they get free care paid for by you and me. if that's not a form of socialism, i don't know what is. (laughter) >> jon: the uninsured being cared for in emergency rooms is irresponsible and socialist and i am totally cool that. (laughter) that's how your state wants to deal with it. you see, whatever his missteps are as a candidate barack obama is surging in the polls because the closer we get to the election it is dumber mitt romney appears to be getting. (cheers and applause) here he is touting his economic plan-- settle down. really? is that how you want to win this thing? (laughter) the other guy just tears his a.c.l., is that how you want to win? (laughter) here's romney touting his economic plan at the s
will mitt romney find a guiding philosophy? it seems hopeless! so this weekend i pinched out a loaf of hope! (applause) tonight i am proud to introduce my new book "america again: rebecomeing the greatness we never weren't." (cheers and applause) it is fulle market principles and tonight in keeping with those principles my coverage of me talking about my own book is brought to you by burger king-- home of the "why don't you buy this book"? (laughter) folks, this is the complete conservative guiding principle that mitt needs on everything: jobs, health care, even the controversial practice of hydrofracking which i explain with the help of a cartoon farting dinosaur. (applause) but don't worry. it's not all that technical. and mitt romney, the first copy is yours! second copy is mine. (laughter) i can't wait to read it. now let me just inscribe this bad boy right here. okay. uh-huh. uh-huh. "to mitt, use this book to become president." (laughter) "just make me ambassador to middle earth. (cheers and applause) yours, stephen colbert." okay. put that bad boy in an envelope and send! (cheers and
Search Results 0 to 3 of about 4

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